People, Acquaintances or, More?

The day before yesterday:
Leaders' Appreciation dinner was fun, it brought me a whole lot of familiarity and laughter :) Having PJ at the table was a new experience too. I have plenty of photographs to depict the amount of joy that was in the atmosphere that night.

Yesterday:
Combined service was pretty overwhelming, in a very unfamiliar way. We witnessed the first ordination service and it was extremely heartwarming. After which, I assisted the chef and the supervising chef with the test run of the Watchnight Appreciation Dinner. Made a mess, had dinner at 11pm, then cleared the mess. It was mad, haha! If you two are reading this, thanks for dinner Chef L. And thank you for availing your kitchen, resources and Kangoo Su-Chef RH :) This Sunday will be a b.l.a.s.t.

Today:
I'm going to fall short of words. Because I don't think I'm able to convert my emotions into words. I think simple will do.

School starts tomorrow - that leaves me less time to fall into deep thought. While most of my school mates had classes today, I was at home, thinking and wondering about plenty of things. Most have to do with how I'm feeling, I guess?

Today:
I realised that I think about people all the time. For obvious reasons perhaps, we're surrounded by them all the time.

Right now, I'm missing my Mom. She left for Staff Retreat this morning and I didn't manage to spend enough time with her before she left because I was, cooking, as aforementioned. Haha then again, she'll be back on Wednesday, yay! And Dad surprised me, and made me a very happy girl. He's trying - he's making the effort to care and show me that he loves me and I couldn't be happier :)

Today:
I thought some more, and I fell deeper. I started thinking about individuals, that mean to me. And somewhere in my thoughts, I found several who are simply acquaintances. But they were in my head anyway.

People, Acquaintances, or More?

Today:
I found myself questioning and wanting answers. My heart wasn't heavy, it was just pumping. There were times where I felt the speed coming on, it pumped faster. More questions.

There are probably a million and one ways to meet people. After all, they are all over the world, literally. Some are more memorable, others are plain funny and entertaining. But what matters more, to me, is what happens after.

Sengkang 1 girls, if you ever read this, I thought about you all today. Alethea, Clara, Charmaine, Kimberly, Eunice, Fe Nyx, Zoe and Abby. You girls don't know how much space you occupy in my head and heart.

Today:
Past experiences surfaced. Both the good and bad. Then I considered the aftermath. It brought to mind learning lessons, and the things I've yet to learn from. I don't know whether to be fearful or confused, but it was a mix of both. It put my heart in a fix, really. I sorted things out with God and my spirit was calmed, thankfully.

I remember something similar happened during the O Level period. I posted an entry on my concerns about boundaries and lines that had to be drawn between girls and guys, even if the friendship was platonic. Maybe this is part of how God is growing me, as I grow up. Relationships are incredibly significant to me and I don't take them lightly. That explains why I'm so particular about certain things and I cautiously watch myself so I don't fall too early, too soon.

I'm not going to get any younger, I'm just going to get older. So I should be equipped with the ability to accept when I should and reject, resist and retaliate when I must. I'll learn to speak my mind, put my foot down and grow up a little.

I felt as if someone was playing with my head. It was as if a real person kept coming in and going out of my head, ever so conveniently. I really didn't know what to do about it, so I let it go on. Here's where I threw in the towel: I didn't make it go away when I knew I should've.

Now, was it you?

Today:
I missed people. People who are far away geographically, people who I've not seen or met in the longest time, and people whom I've not been investing my time and effort into. Sometimes people really don't talk to people enough. It happens to me when I'm having my Itime. Direct translations will say: when I'm in my own world - my comfort zone, where no one will be able to come in, no matter how hard they try. That's my Itime.

And honestly, I love my Itime. I love being in my own place, at my own time, with no distractions. Just the serenity, the calmness and God. This is what you get when you're 95% introverted. (I really wonder if I'm only 5% extroverted.) This goes to say that I desperately need my room back, I miss it :( (Here's where the air-conditioner goes drip drip drip.)

To sum it all up,
Today: Was strangely good.